39 Weeks Pregnant – Second Pregnancy Experience
Hi, I’m Neha, co-founder of Sonality, mother of 2 year old Mia and…oh yes 39 weeks into pregnancy number 2! Where has the time gone?! The second pregnancy experience is, quite honestly an odd one from my perspective. Everything feels familiar, but yet completely different! Below I give an honest account of my personal experience in the face of launching Sonality alongside my husband, working a day job and already having a toddler.
Time and Research
This time round it has just flown by. During my first pregnancy I had dreamy afternoons thinking about new born baby clothes, what baby grows I could buy, what newborn baby gifts we may receive. This time round I am knee deep in all this stuff for the business and haven’t given a thought to what baby #2 may ever wear!
First time round I did as much research as I could about labour, delivery, breastfeeding and looking after a new born baby. I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting and the Week by Week Pregnancy Book every day to see how my baby was forming and developing (I could tell you week on week which vegetable the baby was the same size as!) I read numerous blogs and articles on pregnancy and new-born’s and watched One Born Every Minute every week! I googled every twinge/unusual movement and read up on all the different types of births. I meticulously researched car seats, buggys, high chairs, breast pumps etc and dreamt up personalised baby clothes and other cute baby gifts such as hooded baby towels, baby dressing gowns etc the stuff which has more fashion over function. This time round I have read a few articles/blog posts from mums with 2 children but that’s about it. The days and weeks are just flying by and I’m barely remembering how many weeks pregnant I am! Feelings of guilt arose as I spent so much time thinking about Mia, but then I am also realistic enough to know that life has moved on and the dreamy afternoons are a luxury I no longer have!
First Trimester…. definitely harder than the first. Same as with the first pregnancy, I was really lucky that I only suffered with morning sickness for about 2 weeks (no vomiting, just a lot of nausea). First time round Dipe (hubby and co-founder of Sonality) told me to rest and put my feet up but this time round I didn’t have the luxury of free time, resting, napping etc as I was chasing around after a 15 month old! Sometimes I even forgot I was pregnant!
Second Trimester was a little easier but then the Third was again harder – not to mention it coincided with the launch of Sonality – madness I know! Same issues with running around after a toddler but this time round I just felt BIGGER and much more pregnant. I wasn’t exercising at all this time round (just because I didn’t have the time!) and juggling my day job, working on launching Sonality and looking after a toddler I felt constantly zapped of energy. We spent our days looking at samples of baby clothes, baby gifts, bodysuits etc and again I started to have feelings of guilt that I wasn’t looking at this stuff for the baby but rather for Sonality. But already having Mia and expecting certainly helped the process of being strict at what baby clothing we chose to launch with. I just kept asking myself…would I be happy for my baby to wear this baby grow or that baby t shirt – if the answer was no it didn’t make the cut.
The first time round, the day we found out we were pregnant was the day all the baby worry kicked in. What if we miscarried? What if it was an ectopic pregnancy? What if there was no heartbeat? We worried so much that when I was 5 weeks pregnant, I had a ‘stitch’ like pain and was so convinced that it was an ectopic pregnancy (google is not always your friend!) that we traipsed to Harley Street for a private check/scan only to be told that everything was fine and it was just my uterus growing. I also worried about how I would know what to do! How would I know when the baby was hungry/tired? How would I know how to bath her or if she should wear a bodysuit and a baby grow and a sleeping bag at night time? The second time round, the worry is still there however I know and have much more faith in my body. It knows what to do and most of the time all those aches/pains/weird feelings are normal. I know what to do when the little one arrives (well…I am just about remembering!) and am well aware of all the developmental leaps, sleep regressions, separation anxiety and that everything else that comes with having a new baby. I know that I will cope and everything will fall into place.
First time round I was so well prepared. I had lists and spreadsheets of what the baby would need and a ‘mummy and baby’ hospital bag checklist. All the new born sleepsuits, babygrows, bodysuits, new born baby vests, blankets, muslins etc were washed and organised in the nursery by week 35. We received some early newborn gifts and they made the nursery look complete. My hospital bag was packed, car seat installed in the car, the cot setup in our bedroom, bassinet setup in the living room and all the technology (bottle steriliser, prep machine, breast pump etc) setup and ready to go just in case the baby decided to make an early appearance. This time round this is not the case! We’ve only just got everything out of storage and I’ve only just made a list of what needs to go in my hospital bag. Even though we know what to expect this time round, we really are winging it!
So there it is. Second time round is very different! However the outcome is the same. One thing I know for sure is, is when the baby is born my heart will expand to make place for it and I will love him/her just the same as I did with Mia. All the rest I figure I’ll remember, or I’ll wing it!
This is only my personal experience but hopefully if any of you mamas are having/had/will have similar stresses and emotions, hopefully you’ll realise feelings of guilt and ill preparation are normal in today’s busy world. Onwards to delivery day and my next update post new baby Sonality…
Love, Neha x